Love Is My Job

071BDF24-7936-4E07-9ED7-D492FBFE8456.jpegWhen I was a young girl, I dreamed of you, longed for you, I played in my moms make up, clothes, and shoes thinking, pretending, day dreaming of you. I stayed up all night talking on the phone, laughing, and joking wasting time with you. Got drunk many nights broken hearted, twisted swirling echoes of light and shadows missing you. Pulling blinds back letting sun in stretching and sighing out for you. Breakfast time I’m not hungry, lunch, and dinner I can pass up for you. Walking in the park, in the woods, on the beach holding hands in my mind with you. Tears are flowing feeling lonely empty spaces cup is filling overflowing salty waters for voided voiceless conversations with you. Moon is tired of my howls and jealous of the stars and my fluid flow with them about you. Angels pleading tugging heavens core gates on my behalf to be with you. God it’s crazy how I feel that I met myself in you. I’m a wreck and hollowed mess because I found my missing pieces in you.Today I opened up my eyes looking back on us not holding hands and I realize I planned a life off in time in my mind without your words connecting is your hand was never in mine Lord have mercy I’ve been wasting and draining my life and I guess it’s time to walk away. Hold my head up heart low and in darkness and I am fine just leaving that trap behind. I’m walking through a whole new entire door Love where you’re needed no more. I fear that it has been so long to come true, I doubt you’ll ever come through. Like a fool I just made new room for you. Do you see how this void has took me through. Insanity tipping near and I gotta run away from you cause I fear what you can cause me to do. So Love I will teach people about you in all your truth but, just know I am done chasing my peace in you!

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